The Old Dun Cow

Welcome back to Folk Infusion- we've had a two day haitus due to troubles with the blog site, but we're back for Friday's drinking song! I'll be heading down to Merlin's Rest tonight for the 8:00 Celtic session, so in that spirit, today's selection is "The Old Dun Cow" a song I first heard from the St. Paul Irish singer, Tom Dahill. It was written in 1893 by the English pub-song writer Harry Wincott. The dun (light brown) cow is a common motif in English folk lore, and an equally common name for English drinking establishments.

Dun Cow is a common English pub name

The song tells the story of a band of stalwart men who, faced with a fire in the pub, bravely stay behind to rescue the liquor from the conflagration by passing it through their bloodstreams and livers. The song is a great sing-along for pubs, as one line ("don't let them in 'til it's all mopped up/somebody shouted MacIntyre") allows the audience to loudly shout, "MacIntyre!" at the top of their ale-besotted lungs. The significance of "MacIntyre" or why it is to be shouted is lost to the foggy mists of time. It's been speculated that it's cockney rhyming slang or a mock-up of the same. Others maintain that the original version went, "don't let them in 'til it's all mopped up, somebody said to MacIntyre", and was later changed. It's also possible that Wincott just needed a word that rhymed with "fire", and figured he'd give the audience something to shout in the process, thus improving the song immensely. While the song was originally English, it has since been adopted by the Celtic music scene, especially Irish-Americans (it appeals, perhaps, to the demographic of the audience that comes to an Irish show expecting drinking songs rather than mournful ballads about land theft, infanticide, and martyrdom).
 
Unfortunately, I can't find Dahill's great rendition, but this one will do: 

The lyrics of the song vary from place as place as tradition and inebriation dictates, but the basic gist is as follows:

Some friends and I in a public house
Was playing a game of chance[1] one night
When into the pub a fireman ran
His face all a chalky white.
"What's up", says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost,
Or have you seen your Aunt Mariah?"
"Me Aunt Mariah be buggered!", says he,
"The bleedin' pub's on fire!"
"On fire?", says Brown,  "What a bit of luck!
"Everybody follow me![2]
down in the cellar, if the fire ain't there,
we'll have a rare old spree!"
so we all went down with good old Brown
and beer we could not miss
and we hadn't been ten minutes there
when we were all quite pissed

And there was Brown upside down
Lappin'' up the whiskey on the floor.
"Booze, booze!" The firemen cried
As they came knockin' on the door (clap clap)
Oh don't let 'em in till it's all drunk up
And somebody shouted MacIntyre! [entire pub shouts: MACINTYRE!]
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire.

Then, Smith walked over to the port wine tub
And gave it just a few hard knocks (clap clap)
Started takin' off his pantaloons
Likewise his shoes and socks.
"Hold on, " says Brown, "that ain't allowed
Ya cannot do that thing here.
Don't go washin' your trousers in the port wine tub
When we got all this light beer."

chorus

[rare optional verse]

Don't be Shane McGowan. Drink responsibly.

Then there came from the old back door
The Vicar of the local church.
And when he saw our drunken ways,
He began to scream and curse.
"Ah, you drunken sods! You heathen clods!
You've taken to a drunken spree!
You drank up all the Benedictine wine
And you didn't save a drop for me!"

chorus

And then there came a mighty crash
Half the bloody roof caved in.
We were almost drowned in the firemen's hose
But still we were gonna stay.
So we got some tacks and some old wet sacks
And we nailed ourselves inside
And we sat drinking the finest Rum[3]
Till we were bleary-eyed.

Chorus

[optional final verse]
Later that night, when the fire was out
We came up from the cellar below.
Our pub was burned. Our booze was drunk.
Our heads was hanging low.
"Oh look", says Brown with a look quite queer.
Seems something raised his ire.
"Now we gotta get down to Murphy's Pub,
It closes on the hour!"

Chorus

[1] Alternative: "were playing dominoes one/last night"
[2] Alt: "Come along with me", says he!
[3] Alt: pints of stout

Have a good Friday! Skål!